Late Night Confessions

When the truth is.. I miss you so

It doesn’t matter if I love you or if I just think I do. But it does matter how I feel when I think about you being thousands of miles away. About having to send video messages saying Merry Christmas instead of getting to stand directly in front of you, wrapping my arms around your neck, and saying those words straight into your ear. It matters that no matter how good my imagination, you’re still there and I’m still here. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t decided whether or not you’re going to end up moving there, it matters that if you choose to that I’ll have to feel like this until I find another you.

It’s because..

The sunlight streams in through the vertical blinds. The sheets are starting to come loose from the mattress corners. Your chest rises rhythmically with your breathing. I want to bottle the feeling of this moment. I want to save it and keep it in the back of my top dresser drawer, for days when I feel sad or lonely. I want to be able to pop open the cork and let it wash over me, the feeling of content. The feeling of not wanting or needing to be anywhere else but in this bed with you. The feeling that even though it’s starting to get a little uncomfortably warm, I don’t want to pull myself from your arms because I feel safe enveloped in you. I don’t care if it’s 3 in the afternoon and there’s absolutely no reason for two adults to sleep in this late, I have nothing to do today except enjoy this. These are the times I think back on when I’m mad at you. Or when you’re mad at me. They make me remember why it is I’m falling in love with you. It’s because you laugh at me because I cry so easily at everything. It’s because you give me the boot shaped nuggets because they’re my favorite. It’s because you don’t care that I call you Puppy. It’s because you bought me a corndog at the fair because you know I like them. It’s because I’m a hopeless romantic and whenever you reach for my hand it feels like my hands were made solely for this purpose. 

“I write in my tumblr when I’m drunk.. hence the name”

PDB: “ so when you’re on tumblr you probably are literally tumbling everywhere huh?”

…yes. Yes, I am.